Tuesday, July 15, 2008
{ 5:57 AM }
i feel so stupid. really really dumb. i cant believe how a dumbass like me can ever survive on this planet. i mean..dumbasses like me aint suppose to be here at all! god..i just feel extremely sucky today. it all started in the morning when i made yihui late to school again. man..i feel damn bad because it's my fault that she's late again. and then she had to pay $2 fine because she decided to wait for me. what a horrible friend i am. and i am such a trouble maker. i bring nothing but trouble and problem to people around me. everything was well well well until the last period. when i got back my chem spa manual. guess what i got? 2! so stupid of me right? i bet you cant believe i got such a low mark. ha. and when she returned me my paper she added, "theodora, what happened to you?" that added to my grief. you know what? i have no confidence in my studies now. i dont know how to face the coming workload. i kind of expected failure. and i dont know if i should feel this way or not. well, my hardwork is not recognised what can i do? chemistry, i dont think i have chemistry with you. in the first place, i didnt want to take you. but i dont know why, i ended up having to study you. wait. why am i even in where i am now? i seriously have no idea. WHY WHY WHY. these are the only words filling my empty head (remember i have no brains). i so confused now..i want to live by the sea! or stay in the country side where i can look at the meadows and watch the clear blue sky..sigh.